Why I Started Going to Networking Events Before I Knew What Networking Was
By Phil Gee
There's a version of the Phil Gee origin story that sounds very deliberate and strategic. The reality is considerably more chaotic and considerably more funny.
I started going to business events because I was lonely. There — I said it. When you're a one-man operation running a shoe shop, spending most of your waking hours thinking about footfall and footwear, you start to crave actual human conversation that doesn't begin with "do you have this in a size six?"
I had no idea what networking was supposed to look like. I didn't know the etiquette. I didn't know you were supposed to have a polished thirty-second pitch, or a stack of business cards, or any kind of agenda beyond "show up and not embarrass yourself." I just went, I talked to people, and I found the whole thing genuinely interesting.
And something strange happened. Over time, people started calling me. Asking if I knew anyone who could help with this, or whether I had any advice about that. Referrals started appearing — not because I'd asked for them, but because I'd shown up consistently and been, apparently, memorable. Whether that was for the right reasons I won't dig too deeply into.
What I learned, through no particular strategy of my own, was that the people who get the most from networking are the ones who treat it like a long-term investment rather than a vending machine. You don't put your money in and expect a result immediately. You build the relationship. You show up again. You stay interested in other people's businesses even when it's not immediately useful to you.
The ADHD brain — my ADHD brain — actually turned out to be quite good at this part. Hyperfocus means that when I'm talking to someone, I'm genuinely all in. I'm interested. I remember things they told me. I make connections between their problem and someone else I met three months ago.
It's not a system. It never has been. But it works. And sometimes the things that aren't systems are the most effective tools of all.
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